We clearly see the effort you gave in this music, but the fact is when we look closer (at least from my point of view), we can't really enjoy this track... Why ? Because of the structure and the melody !
It happens that the melody is really desorganized, it sounds like you didn't have any idea while composing ! This makes a kind of poor melody, and impacts the whole song as a melody is the heart of a music !
Like the melody, the structure is desorganized too : there's the first part (00:00-00:29), then the second one (00:29-00:59), and finally the last part (00:59-01:35). Sadly, it looks like those parts don't have any link with the others...
Those two facts make the music... Kind of "soulless", which is unfortunate as you put efforts in this track !
I'm leaving three stars for those efforts, and for the progression you made from your first song ! I count on you to improve the melodies (try to build something beautiful, or epic, or catchy...) and the structure (each part must remind us that we're listening to this song and not another) of your musics !
Forgive me for this part-negative review, but well... I'm trying to help ! ;)